This Year, Embrace the Power of No

I’ll never forget the advice my grandfather gave me at the start of my career: “Never turn down an opportunity.”

Sounds like common sense, right? But with all due respect to Grandpa, who was the quintessential “self-made man,” I think it’s a terrible idea. 

Sometimes saying no is the best thing you can do for your career. Especially if you find yourself constantly stretched thin by the special assignments, committees and causes you take on.

If that describes you, then it may be time to start putting yourself first. Learning to say no — in a tactful way — can help you enjoy a happier, healthier and more productive new year.

Understand that opportunities are defined by priorities.

Don’t confuse an invitation with an opportunity. An opportunity will benefit you in some way. So when the next invitation comes along, ask yourself:

1. Will it provide experience that will make me more marketable?
2. Will it advance my career through connections to the right people? 
3. Is it a cause I believe in that offers personal fulfillment?

Ideally, every opportunity will tick all boxes, offering some combination of professional/business growth and personal fulfillment. Be wary of invitations that only check the “fulfillment” box. That’s important, but it’s not always enough.

So you’ve gone through your checklist and concluded you have a true opportunity on your hands. The next big consideration is whether you’re the right person for the job. Ask yourself:

1. Is the project well-suited to my expertise? 
2. Is it a good match for my personality and work style?
3. Do I have the time?

Let’s say you’re terrible with numbers. If a community group asks you to fill a bookkeeper role, it should be an easy no. (Unless it’s important for you to learn and you have the time to invest in it.) 

Play to your strengths. Focus on tasks that will showcase your talents and build your reputation.

The second question gets at the overall environment. If the process, schedule or people are a bad fit… well, life is too short to make yourself miserable. 

Finally, if you don’t have the time in your schedule, ask yourself which of your other priorities you’ll cut back on. Work responsibilities? Family time? Sleep? 

The bottom line is, if you can’t do the job well, that not only hurts the cause, but it can also affect your reputation and your feeling of self-worth.

And if doing it right means cutting corners on your current commitments, that’s going to stress you out and disappoint the people who depend on you.

Remember: Your time is finite; your to-do list should be, too.

Learn how to say no tactfully and assertively.

So if you have trouble saying no or feel guilty about it, here’s what to do.

First, avoid saying yes right away. Give yourself time to consider the decision. Just say, “Let me look at my schedule and think it over.”

If you decide to pass, then try framing it this way: “I’d love to help but I have other commitments that would prevent me from giving this project the full energy and attention it deserves.”

If you get pushback, then point out that if you were to take on this opportunity, they wouldn’t appreciate it if you someday shortchanged the work for some other project that came along.

In the end, it’s about being able to do your best work and not compromising your standards or your sanity.

Resolve to say no.

Years ago, I had a client who was always frazzled. One day, he observed that I rarely was, and wondered what my secret might be. My first thought was, “Am I not working hard enough?” But I’ve since come to realize that sticking to my priorities and strengths — even when it means occasionally disappointing others — is the right path for me.

So before you fill your calendar with one more responsibility, make sure it’s an opportunity, not an obligation. Here’s to a productive — and sane — new year!