To Find Great Stories, Avoid the ‘S’ Word

If you want to bring out the best stories in your customers, colleagues and communities, then a great rule of thumb is to avoid using the “S” word.

“S” is for story, and it often causes people to freeze up — because they doubt their storytelling ability and are convinced that they have no good stories to share.

But that’s nonsense. Stories are all around us, and anyone can tell them. Here are three simple techniques I’ve used to draw out people’s stories without actually asking them for stories.

1. Get personal.

I was working with a company that makes candy and gum. They wanted to demonstrate their commitment to quality, so we went looking for stories.

One day, I was in a factory talking to a woman named Estela. She was literally the end of the line — the last person to inspect the packages of gum before they went out the door. 

I asked her what she did to ensure a quality product. It was a process question, so I got a process answer. She walked me through all the steps from start to finish. Useful? Maybe. But not that compelling.

I knew she had children so I said, “Your kids must think you’ve got a really cool job!” Estela lit up. 

She plucked one of the packages of gum off the conveyor belt, turned it over and pointed to a code on the bottom. That code tells you exactly when and where the gum was made — right down to the individual shift and production line.

And her children know the code. When her family goes to the store, the kids run straight to the candy aisle, turn over the packages of gum and when they find the right code they call out, “This is mommy’s gum! My mommy made this gum!”

Now that’s a story. Here’s a company you can count on for quality — it’s good enough for your family because Estela is there every day making sure it’s good enough for hers.

The key to uncovering this story was that I got personal. Mentioning her kids loosened Estela up and got her talking. It spoke to her heart, not just her head. And emotion is the core of any good story.

2. Ask for examples.

In my workshops I have people create and share their stories. I’ll never forget the woman sitting right up front at an event who was clearly flummoxed. “I don’t have any stories,” she said. 

So, I asked her what her job was and she told me she worked in IT. “OK,” I said, “What are your biggest challenges?” She immediately came to life and told me about all the careless things employees do, from downloading viruses to dumping drinks on their keyboard. 

I asked if she had any examples (not stories!) of people doing dumb things that caused needless headaches for themselves and their departments. “Of course,” she said. 

“Those are your stories!” I told her.

Examples are far less intimidating for people to grasp. And with a little polish, they can be turned into perfectly serviceable stories.

3. Tap their experience.

I once worked with a CMO who had to announce a major restructuring that was certain to be controversial — new reporting lines, shifting responsibilities and all the rest.

So, I asked, “Have you ever gone through something like this before?” A light bulb went on in his head and he started talking about his early years with that very company when another restructuring occurred.

At first, he was angry and resentful and thought seriously about quitting. But he stuck it out, and to his surprise the change opened up new opportunities for professional growth and career advancement.

From this experience we crafted a personal story he could use to illustrate that, in spite of the short-term disruption and pain, change can sometimes present unexpected benefits down the road.

When it comes down to it, uncovering people’s stories is about establishing a connection, building rapport, being curious — and approaching the conversation from different angles other than head-on.