How to Master the Art of Small Talk

Small talk can be a chance to learn about others, become more curious and build trust, according to an article from Vox. Even if you’re shy or introverted, then you’ll often be faced with numerous encounters where you will have to make conversation with people you don’t know well. So it’s important to learn some best practices.

Try finding out “what makes them tick, what drives them,” the article says of potential conversation partners. Ask what books they’re reading, or what movies and TV shows they like to watch. Most important, make sure that you’re truly interested in what they have to say, rather than just talking about yourself, says Vox.

“Small talk gets a bad rap for being too surface-level, too rote, a throwaway filler conversation. But casual chat can be the on-ramp to deeper connection,” the article says.  

Don’t think of small talk as a way you’ll “get stuck” talking to someone, but instead think about how it’s just the beginning of a conversation — not where you’ll end up. 

Though conversations with strangers and acquaintances can potentially be awkward, the more often you engage in these types of chats, the more confident you will become in your ability.

Avoid talking about obvious topics like the weather, traffic or someone’s job — people usually give canned or automatic responses. Instead, give them a chance to expound and share. Make a list of talking points that you’d like to discuss, including topics like new restaurant recommendations, upcoming vacations, shows or movies recently streamed, etc. 

Beyond a prepared list of questions, you could share an observation or make a statement about something you’re both experiencing, like a comment about your mutual friend or commiserating over how long a line is, Vox says. Research also shows that commenting on a colorful piece of clothing or a band or school shirt someone has on can be a great conversation starter. This way, both parties often care about the topic.

Make sure that you’re actively listening to someone and being empathetic. Ask follow-up questions and show that you’re interested in what they have to say. Both people will become more invested, offer more information and want the conversation to continue. 

Here are several more tips from Vox on making small talk.

1. View small talk as an opportunity.
2. Avoid job talk.
3. Be a good listener.
4. Don’t make it weird.
5. Learn what to do if you get stuck.