The Value of Real Talk

It seems like every day it gets more challenging to communicate in ways that make all people feel valued and included. I worked in a diversity and inclusion office for over four years, and even within that time frame the lexicon of acceptable terms changed often.

While working in the D&I department (now often called “Diversity, Equity and Inclusion”) we supported historically disenfranchised groups through corporate donations, volunteer efforts, and internal and external communication programs.

What was clear then and even more clear now is that having “real talk” — conversations that are uncomfortable but help bring clarity to an issue — has great value.

Develop with care.

When you try to bring people together, how you facilitate those conversations is everything. The wrong term, tone or timing could turn what should be positive into a negative. 

For example, each diversity month we celebrated or program we created was chosen with care. Research informed our ideas, along with getting input from the employees who made up volunteer Diversity Councils. They had different backgrounds, market areas and vantage points that gave us a broader perspective and reflected our customers. Even so, what employees may want to talk about may not be what employers are comfortable exploring. 

With the recent social unrest, employers are now seeing the value of those harder conversations, especially as Generation Z joins our workforce. Developing programs and initiatives with your target audience, instead of presenting something ready-made to them, helps with troubleshooting and early adoption by the stakeholders who would ultimately judge it. 

Take caution with real talk.

Earning trust takes time. Creating a pattern of accountability and considerate candor can help with developing trust in the workplace. 

I found a lot of interest from employees when my department created Lunch and Learn topics that went beyond typical diversity month celebrations. 

One program that was popular and interactive was about cultural issues in the workplace. With the help of an academic researcher, we explored the many ‘isms’ that influenced communication and behavior. 

We also reviewed techniques on how to develop appropriate verbal and nonverbal responses in uncomfortable situations. During Q&A, employees shared stories of microaggressions they experienced in their lives. Their shares were respectful and didn’t point fingers at anyone identifiable. 

Still, an HR representative in attendance reported back some of the discussion, which led to my being called in for questioning. That made me nervous. Had I been too progressive in my programming? In today’s environment, I probably wouldn’t have been questioned since more organizations are having similar discussions. 

The boldness and care we took in handling this program deepened our relationships with participating employees. That was vitally important for my role, where we counted on employee volunteers to power our programs and outreach efforts. All people feel excluded at times and “othered” in certain situations, and discussing that helped us relate in a new way. 

Take these steps.

Today, employees want real talk and real change. They want to go deeper and break down systemic racism that plagues our workplaces. These tips can help you navigate these tougher topics:

• Work with a trained DE&I professional or researcher who knows how to explain data insights and facilitate productive conversations. If you need to create a program from scratch, then there are many online resources as well.
• Don’t decide in a silo. Discuss topics and program details with your employee resource groups, diversity committees or volunteer councils. Or create one with a variety of professionals from key parts of the company if none exists. 
• Get top leadership’s support to have these conversations and involve leaders in planning or the programming if possible. You’ll need their support to take action on issues that can be addressed. 

Doing this work can be heavy and you may need to uncover some of your own unconscious biases. It will take courage to have real talk and acknowledge the “isms” that exist in the workplace. But employees — our most vital stakeholders — and organizations will benefit in the long run.